What Hurts the Most
by DontHateMeCuzImBeautiful
Summary: You never know what you've got until it's gone...MAJOR ANGST WARNING


**Disclaimer: Still, after all these years! don't own Inuyaha and Co. Maybe next year ;-)**

**A/N: Holy CROW guys it's been a LONG time! And here I am back with the most angsty thing I think I've ever written O.o. But no worries! It's summer time here and I officially have what I've heard referred to as "Free Time". It's a weird thing but I think I like it! Anyway, enjoy this little songfic!**

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><p><em>I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me…<em>

She lay on her side in the darkness of her room completely motionless, the only sounds her harsh breathing and muffled sniffles. Another bolt of lightning illuminated her being, dark black hair surrounding her diminutive form, her right hand curled around a singular piece of paper soaked with moisture…

_I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out…_

The creaking of stairs alerted her to her mother's presence, no doubt coming to check on her once again.

_I'm not afraid to cry every once in awhile, though I know_

_Going on, with you gone, still upsets me…_

Bundling herself further underneath her blankets she stilled just before the door was cracked open and a line of light flooded the room.

"Kagome? Kagome are you alright?" Mrs. Higurashi's voice carried through the door and Kagome did all she could to remain still and play the part of being asleep.

_There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay_

_But that's not what gets me… _

After a handful of stressful moments Kagome heard her mother sigh before closing the door quietly behind her. She waited until her mother's footsteps had faded away before slowly sitting up and flicking the lamp on near the edge of her bed. Just as slowly she unraveled the paper she had been clutching in her hand and read…

_What hurts the most…Was being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

She willed the tears not to fall as she read over the police report just once more, though it hurt her heart more than she could stand. It was an official document stating that 2 young males, 17 years of age, had been involved in a fight outside of a local gas station and sustained fatal injuries.

_And never knowing _

_What could have been…_

A gunshot to the chest had been the official cause of death to the first young man, Inuyasha Abarri, though they had been very much so confused as to how the second young man, Koga Wolf, had managed to be nearly completely maimed with what could only be concluded as claws. Koga was pronounced dead on the scene but Inuyasha had managed to hold on all the way to the hospital. It was also mentioned in the report that he had been calling for someone the entire way, one Kagome Higurashi…

_And not seeing that loving you…_

She had sat totally alone in the hospital room as he passed away.

_Is what I was trying to do…_

She crumpled the paper angrily as the tears began flowing freely again, threw her head back as the sobs wrenched themselves violently from her throat, the ones she'd been trying to contain since screaming herself hoarse at the hospital.

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go_

_But I'm doing it…_

After his older brother Sesshomaru had called her nearly breathless on the way to the hospital Kagome had been so frantic she hadn't a good rein over her emotions. By the time she'd gotten to the Tokyo E.R she'd been an emotional wreck, hell bent on finding Inuyasha if she had to kill a few people in the process.

Sesshomaru hadn't said a word to her as she ran up to him and demanded to know where her boyfriend was. He'd pointed to the room down the hall and she'd all but sprinted around the countless nurses and doctors trying to stabilize him. They'd reluctantly allowed him to spend his final minutes with her after determining that there wasn't much else they could do.

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends_

_And I'm alone…_

So Kagome sat by his bedside and cried as he whispered, "It's alright Kagome…I'm gonna be…alright…"

She'd sniffled and replied, "I know…we're gonna go home and I'm going to make you the best ramen you-you've ever had…"

He'd smiled wanly at that and reached for her hand weakly with his own which she grasped tightly back. "Kagome…you have to promise me something…"

_Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret_

_But I know…If I could do it over…_

She'd shaken her head, refusing to listen to whatever he had to say next because it was as foreboding as his condition. "No…Inuyasha please…"

"Kagome listen to me…listen!" She'd looked at him as he'd breathed harshly, the effort obviously costing him, and whispered, "Kagome, promise me…that you'll…never…forget-me…"

She'd let out a ragged sob as she shook her head and murmured, "No…"

But he'd gripped her hand insistently and hissed, "Promise me!"

_I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart_

_That I left unspoken…_

Sobbing uncontrollably now she'd whispered back brokenly, "I promise Inuyasha! I-I promise…"

Only then had he relaxed and settled back on his pillows, taking a few more deep, ragged breaths. "Inuyasha…?" Kagome whispered and he'd smiled at her, reaching up to smooth her bangs out of her face as he whispered, "I love you, Kagome…"

Her silent tears marred her lovely face as she whispered, "I love you too, Inuyasha, so much…don't leave me."

He'd chuckled weakly before he whispered his last words.

"Don't cry, Kagome. I hate it when you…cry…"

_What hurts the most_

_Was being so close…_

The funeral had been a quiet but large affair, hundreds of mourners coming to grieve. Most had been friends of Inuyasha's parents but Inuyasha's popularity made his friends a majority of the crowd. The entire thing had been so numbing Kagome had barely spoken, opting instead to accept the condolences and trying to smile weakly at those who gave her small gifts, tokens of Inuyasha's kindness or things that they remembered about Inuyasha that they believed Kagome would be better off having.

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away…_

She'd stood next to an increasingly stoic Sesshomaru, unable to summon the tears that she knew she should have been shedding throughout the entire service. She was drained, emotionally and physically, so much so that she found herself leaning against Sango for support in order to stay upright.

_And never knowing…_

The only thing that warranted an emotion from her was after the entire thing was over. Sesshomaru had walked Kagome back to her car, the two standing together just outside of the passenger side. He dug a hand in his pocket and murmured to her in an overtly somber tone, "I have no idea how much good it will do…"

_What could have been…_

He pulled a small black jeweler's box out of the pocket he was digging in, carefully watching Kagome's expression for any sign of breakdown. "My brother wanted you to have this," he told her quietly, handing her the box.

_And not seeing that loving you…_

Almost afraid of opening the velvet package, Kagome's hand flew to her mouth as she warily opened the lid, the small piece of jewelry nestled within winking at her traitorously in the dismal sunlight. The ring was small, modest, but no less amazing in its stature. Gasping and threatening to drop the entire package in her shaking hand, she whispered Inuyasha's name just as the darkness overtook her.

_Is what I was trying to do…_

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><p><strong>AN: Be on the lookout for more. Also, don't forget to review!**


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